Home cinema – a tall order

Perhaps I shouldn’t say this given the focus of this blog but last night I went out to watch “Harry Potter and the Half an Hour Too Long Prince”. I’m a big advocate of home cinema, not necessarily because I’m a big geek who likes mucking about with wires, that’s only half of it. Rather the key word of the previous sentence should be “big”, I’m about six foot five and for the record it’s not cold up here and yes, my parents did make me stand in a bucket of shit throughout my childhood – so thanks for asking...Whilst being of the tall persuasion does have many advantages it does make a visit to the cinema a mite uncomfortable.

I can’t remember exactly when it happened but I blame Kevin Costner, film studios seem to have unanimously decided that they needed to give us cinema-goers value for money. Generally speaking I’m all for that but not at the expense of deep vein thrombosis!

In the world of the six foot plus the perfect film is around about an hour and a half long, at least if viewed at the multiplex - I’m quite happy to go through the three hour director’s cut extended edition on the comfort of my own sofa. The average UK cinema seat just doesn’t seem to have been designed with the modern man in mind, even the deluxe seats give you about as much leg room as you’d expect to get flying economy on a budget airline. As a nation the Brits are getting larger and we’re not just growing outwards, as an ex-(film) teacher I can testify that year on year my pupils were getting taller. Hopefully by 2020 I’ll be able to go to a gig and stand at the front without feeling guilty...

Of course the cinema chains understandably want to pack in as many people as possible, this seems to be working since UK cinema admissions have been steady since they hit a high of 176 million in 2002. As a film buff I’m quite happy to experience extended editions and bloated director’s cuts, however I don’t wish to endure the experience of a crowded, stuffy, deafening and physically uncomfortable environment of many auditoria. Not when I’ve got a comfortable sofa and HD TV at home.

That said, I’ve shuffled and squirmed through all of Peter Jackson’s most recent work, the odd Michael Mann film, “Watchmen”... Say what you like for HD technology but for a proper film buff there really is no comparison to watching the big films on the biggest screens possible – preferably IMAX. While I’m not really convinced we can really call most home cinema “cinema” or that we ever can since Cinema has a kind of alchemy, the shared experience that you can never really replicate in the domestic sphere... However, home cinema is at least at home and most of the time that’s good enough for me!